Sexual performance anxiety is a joy-kill and one of the major obstacles to enjoying great sexual intimacy with one’s partner. It creates continuous worry over one’s performance and appearance, making sexual intercourse so stressful and nerve-wracking that one starts avoiding the act altogether. The emotions and feelings associated with sexual arousal and excitement get hijacked by anxiety and interfere with sexual gratification.
The distraction from sexual performance anxiety could impact arousal in women preventing them from releasing natural lubrication. In males, this anxiety can release stress hormones resulting in constriction of blood vessels leading to difficulty in achieving an erection.
Sexual performance anxiety may arise from a variety of causes. The fear of not being able to satisfy one’s partner, body image issues such as size and weight, concern regarding premature ejaculation or fear of taking too long to reach orgasm are some of the causes.
Instances of previous embarrassments in the bedroom could also linger in one’s mind causing anxiety and thus affecting the mood and performance. In fact, one’s state of mind has a huge impact on one’s feelings of arousal. Even if a person finds their partner sexually appealing, anxiety could make it impossible to feel aroused.
Useful tips to overpower sexual performance anxiety
The major causes of sexual anxiety for men arise from three physical disorders: erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation. The secret to overcoming sexual anxiety is in working together with one’s partner without judging oneself harshly and without rushing through the motions.
- Communicating with one’s partner can help lift the weight off one’s shoulders. Two heads are better than one in resolving problems on any given day. Partners can work together by providing support and comfort to each other. One has to be able to trust the other by being honest with one’s own shortcomings.
- Taking it slow before intercourse by lengthening foreplay could help ignite the required desire in one’s partner as well as in oneself. If one suffers from the problem of premature ejaculation, one could have one’s partner give short bouts of oral sex, stopping short of reaching an orgasm. In case of erectile dysfunction, one can satisfy one’s partner with one’s tongue and he need not beat oneself up over losing his erection.
- Men need to practice at least for a week using their hands to bring on an erection while stopping short of ejaculation. Later, they can get their partner to join them in giving them the same exercise, with or without variation, with their hands and then their mouth. In this way, men can master their sexual prowess and overpower the anxiety surrounding performance.
- Use of sex toys such as dildos, vibrators, cock rings, etc., discreetly available in the market, can help bring in more pleasure and sometimes even substitute for the real thing. If used creatively with one’s partner, the fear of losing an erection or ejaculating early or late will no longer play a central role in being able to satisfy one’s partner.
- Adopting a healthy lifestyle, incorporating regular exercise, eating healthy, sleeping well and practicing mindfulness techniques and yoga/meditation would also improve physical and mental health. A relaxed mind helps give better performance, even in the bedroom. Besides, staying fit and in shape is not only a reflection of good health but has always been a natural turn on for the opposite gender.
Getting help for severe anxiety
Sexual problems that have physical causes can be treated with medications and other therapies. In fact, men with these disorders should seek immediate professional help to deal with these disorders. However, if a medical issue is not to blame, you may need to talk to a certified mental health therapist experienced in treating anxiety related to sexual intercourse.
If you or someone you know is showing symptoms of an anxiety disorder or any other mental disorder, it is advisable to seek help from the Medical Concierge of California. Call us at our 24/7 anxiety treatment helpline (877) 636-0042 or chat online to find the best anxiety treatment center and to know more about our evidence-based anxiety treatment plans, which can be customized to suit your needs.